50 Things that Bring Joy Now that You've Stopped Drinking

What Can You Enjoy Now That You're Not Drinking? 

It was hard to remember what I enjoyed that wasn't drinking. When people would ask me what I liked, I really couldn’t think of anything. Between drinking and wanting to please everyone around me -- children, partners -- I had no idea what I preferred. I'm not sure I ever really did know; I started partying so early on. As an adult, anything that anyone else liked that helped keep the peace was great by me! And I was convinced that my only real pleasure lay in drinking and substances. 

After I stopped drinking, enjoyment, came gradually, to say the least. There was a good stretch where I felt pretty flat. No spark. No interest. No energy. Just blah. It’s called anhedonia, where you’re not exactly depressed, but you just feel … nothing. And it’s very common after the roller-coaster of our consuming addictive behaviors.

Barbershop in Norwood, Ohio with skeleton sitting at a cafe table nearby.

It was wildly frustrating.  I couldn't see how life without drinking could possibly be satisfying. Of course, my drinking life was about as far from satisfying as you can get!

At first, I didn’t even enjoy playing with my kids. Talking. Being outside. Sleeping. Watching TV. Everything felt like a chore. A lot of things felt awkward, dumb, and barely tolerable. I felt awkward and dumb .

Dinosaurs crossing Vine Street, Cincinnati, OH

But over time, with practice, I started to have a little fun here and there. I started mildly enjoying watching my kids having fun, at first, and then gradually, I started finding myself actually ENJOYING being there, participating, laughing.  Being aware. I started to appreciate some of the activities themselves. 

I think much was in just doing things and trying things more than finding a particular passion, for me. That felt pretty paralyzing, that idea of a life passion or purpose. I felt like I had wasted so much life. But as I tried to just be aware of and participate in the small things close by, in town, happiness kept creeping in around the edges. Little moments started to feel like contentment and peace. Sometimes people call these glimmers, but I think that implies that they vanish too quickly.  

Some years later, I find that I enjoy myself in almost any situation in which I find myself. I’m curious. Life is interesting. And funny. Little moments of joy and fun all run together. In unfamiliar situations, I’ve gotten better at just experiencing them. No expectations. I don’t run around looking for meaningful experiences, but I do try to notice them when they come across my path these days, and noticing, they seem to do that all the time!

Lavendar in Avondale, OH.

Here is a list of 50 of the things I found I relish that have nothing to do with drinking. 

What do I enjoy besides drinking?

1. Seeing old friends

2. Feeling close to people

3. Reading

4. Casual contact with neighbors

5. Time with my children

6. Holiday traditions

7. Hugs with family and friends

8. Crisp, cool air and warm sunshine

9. Making things

10. Appreciating Beauty

11. Art

12. Walking

13. Laughing with others

14. Exploring my cities

15. Noticing architecture

16. Cincinnati’s incredible murals and public art

17. Taking pictures

18. Stretching

19. Finding nature and beauty in unexpected places

20. Hearing laughter

21. The sound of birds twittering

22. Writing - sometimes

23. The sound and feel of running water

24. The ocean

25. Sunshine

26. Watching old cartoons

27. Feeling my smallness in nature

28. Reliving sweet memories

29. Listening to music

30. Finding a bargain

31. Doing small thoughtful things for other people

32. Being a source of strength and warmth to others

33. Feeling warm and cozy

34. Being held

35. Visiting with people I love

36. Being knowledgeable

37. Cuddling my pets

38. Drinking ice cold water on a hot day

39. Waking up to sunshine and birdsong

40. Having physical space

41. Cooking - sometimes

42. Solving problems

43. Dancing (when no one is watching, these days)

44. Going to a play/movie/concert/ballet/event

45. Trying new restaurants

46. Craft fairs

47. Libraries and bookstores

48. People-watching

49. Learning things

50. Browsing in stores

Make your own list of things that bring you joy!  Little, tiny bits of enjoyment are fine. I’m not sure I had even one item, initially.  You’ll be able to add to it over time.

Things That Bring Joy Worksheet

Here’s a PDF worksheet if you like having something to print out and fill in.

List of Things I Enjoy.pdf

Download PDF • 73KB